Here & Now

Today

The one who loves more each day,

You know how we marvel at how we met and fell in love and that it all feels like an ingenious stroke of destiny?

I bleed for all the Mes and Yous in all those parallel universes out there where we did not walk into each other. I wonder how i’m putting myself to sleep and whom you’re telling all your little secrets to. I wonder whom we’re coming back home to right now. I wonder if i made it through today without screaming at a wall and if you remembered to wear your smile to work. I wonder if i ate today, without your repeated reminders; if something made you laugh so hard that your eyes teared up; if someone told you a million times in the day that you were beautiful, and loved very much; if someone told me they were proud of me…

Then i notice your big worrying eyes reading my face from across the room. And just like that, nothing matters. Nothing but today, here and now.

– Your daydreamer

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Your other Today

Today

Dear stranger-turned-lover-turned-stranger,

This day, last year, you said you didn’t love me any more. That it did not feel the same way. I stood by you like i had always promised i would; you walked away. You don’t know what happened next, do you?

I knocked on your door on a sunny spring morning. The tulips in your front yard shied away from the scorching sky. I came with roses and scrunched up notes in my pocket- each one a different draft of what I would say. I didn’t have to open them of course, for I had felt the words lodged in my throat for four days. Four days: That’s 12 cups of unstirred coffee, 6 half-cooked meals and 2 cold pizzas, 3 cans of ice cream, 4 bars of chocolate (okay, 7!), 4 long sunsets, and a sum of 3,45,600 moments without you in my life. The moment you opened the door, my eyes blurted it all out.

We exchanged our eccentric vows at a placid beach on a stormy day, a few monsoons down the way. The photoshoot was washed away, but the clouds giggled as we kissed in their rain. Our first dance was barefoot, on sand birthed by the sea, lit by a crescent moon the size of a paper lantern. The ocean swayed with us that night, before the darkness fell asleep in your gentle embrace.

It’s too bad the dream always ends there: In a perfect world, painted the deep blue of a dawn nigh and an ocean full, marked by the caress of hair that held the perfume of daisies and filled with the harmony of your bloodsong on my skin. It’s a universe where I knew what to say that day, and you were home to open that door. Out here, right now, pizza and unstirred coffee await tired hands, nostalgic of a day we never had, as another letter recklessly crawls beneath your locked door.

Once yours,
Just another whim